I'm eventually going to return to the Big Ten Year in Review - no, really, I will - but there is a far more pressing topic that must be discussed. Someone needs to get me the whereabouts of my new personal hero, J.C. Love Jordan.
J.C. Love Jordan was a wingback and kick returner for Iowa from 1980 through 1984. He caught 31 passes for 359 yards and two touchdowns in his five years with the Hawkeyes. He was the #1 tailback on the depth chart heading into the 1991 season, but missed the season due to injury. By the time he returned, Iowa had played in the Rose Bowl, and J.C. Love found himself a backup at wingback. Nevertheless, most people would consider such a career a modest success and proceed into their post-collegiate lives.
But not J.C. Love Jordan. Oh no, he had far bigger things in mind.
In 1990, J.C. Love found his way to Universal Studios Hollywood to take on the likes of Nitro, Gemini, and Laser. That's right, folks; J.C. Love Jordan was a contestant on American Gladiators. He was initially crushed by Richard Seymour, but (under the modified American Gladiator Stableford scoring system, where the loser almost always returns) he was resurrected in the quarterfinals and even beat Erick Sutton. Finally, he succumbed to the eventual champion, and former Kentucky congressman, Lucian Anderson. J.C. Love Jordan may have been good1, but nobody could compete with a zombie Kentucky congressman who was later implicated in a 2005 murder. Nevertheless, it was the last time an Iowan reached the Final Four.2 And again, almost anyone could look back with pride and settle into a simple, quiet life from that point forward.
But not our man J.C. Love.
In 1992, J.C. Love Jordan made his most imporant appearance yet. When the representatives from Name of the Year convened in their first-ever papal enclave to choose the Name of the Decade, you know who was in the running. Three votes, and a 22nd place finish, later, J.C. Love Jordan was immortalized. He then vanished into the ether, never to be seen again. No mention on Google, other than Hawkeye football and AmGlad. Certainly no pictures.
So what happened to J.C. Love Jordan?
I need to talk to J.C. Love. I need to know what it's like to run around those cones and enter the final stretch of The Eliminator, not knowing whether Gemini ("a split personality; calm one moment, violent the next") lies on the other side of that paper. I need to know how it feels to be mentioned in the same breath as Godfrey Sithole and Funzio Banjo. I need to know how it feels to be truly legendary. So if anyone knows the whereabouts of this Iowan...no, AMERICAN...hero, let me know.
1 - One would think, given J.C. Love Jordan's football background and Iowa ties, his best event would be Breakthrough & Conquer, but one would be incorrect in making that assumption. His best event was most certainly Atlasphere.
2 - of American Gladiators.