Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Gopher Broke

So this week, Iowa plays Minnesota. I really think know what? I don't have the heart anymore. This team has quit. In fact, here's the moments where the 2006 Iowa Hawkeyes quit on each other, in chronological order:
  • September 30, Iowa-tOSU, Third Quarter, 9:35 - The Media quits on the Iowa Hawkeyes. A 30-yard pass from Troy Smith to Anthony Gonzalez effectively finishes the Hawks, and Kirk Herbstreit starts taking well-deserved shots at Iowa. This was the beginning of the end.
  • October 14, Iowa-Indiana, Fourth Quarter, 9:51 - The offense in general, and Drew Tate in particular, quits on the defense. After putting together a 14 play, 77 yard touchdown drive to retake the lead, Iowa's pathetic secondary gave a touchdown right back. It was also at this point that Adam Shada was added to the list of people who don't deserve a free education.
  • October 14, Iowa-Indiana, Fourth Quarter, 2:53 - A Drew Tate pass to Andy "Hooves for hands" Brodell is tipped and intercepted, thereby killing Iowa's season. Also, Drew Tate quits on his receivers. This relationship was never mended.
"Because you had a bad day..."
  • October 21, Iowa-Big Blue, Fourth Quarter, 11:40 - Remember how Tate walked onto the field in the third quarter of the Iowa-ISU game, slapped people around, and put the team on his back? Well, he tried something like this at about 13:00 of the fourth. Then, he was sacked twice and threw an incompletion on third. Net loss of 9 yards on the series. Iowa didn't cross its own 11 until Michigan had put the game away. Oh, and the rest of the team had officially quit on Drew Tate.
  • November 4, Iowa-Brainiacs, Fourth Quarter, 4:56 - Northwestern puts up its third touchdown, ending this one. Boo birds. The fans quit.
  • November 4, Iowa-Nerds, Post-game - Kirk Ferentz apparently skips any post-game talk with his team to talk to Gary Dolphin. There's no better sign that the coach has decided to preemptively end the season and save his own ass.
Now, remember, there's still no "D" in "Minnesota", and there's an Alamo Bowl trip on the line, so maybe we can get a win this week. But it's little consolation for a season so disappointing. I talked to one of my friends after last week's loss, and we agreed on this point: Iowa was THIS close. For years, we've been reaching for the top, for recognition as a top program. Three years with 10 wins and Top-10 finishes left us ever so close. The string of New Year's bowl games had us on the cusp. But the Iowa-OSU game, with Gameday on campus and a primetime audience, really made us feel we had gotten over the top. So when the team imploded after the game, it was especially hard to take.

So, here's to a season lost. Remember, at least there's basketball...

...oh, wait, maybe not so much.

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