Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Juggernaut, Week 6

Wow, if you thought Michael Irvin's tie was big on regular television, watch it in HDTV...

Speaking of Irvin, in case you missed it, the entire ESPN National Football League crew has decided to take turns berating The Playmaker on national television. First it was Tom Jackson's "Are you retarded?" comment. Now it's Steve Young with this:

In Young's defense, The Playmaker was making no sense. In Irvin's defense, he did go to the U, so his Greco-Roman wrestling match with the English language is understandable.

So it's week 6. The Berserkers are on a bye (anyone up for a boat trip?), and the Bears play the Monday night game, so there's not a whole lot to talk about from here. The picks:

Denver (-14) vs. The Corpse of Al Davis
I'll continue to pick against the Raiders until they make me stop. I also like the over (36) in this game, even though neither team scores that much. A line that big almost demands a cover of the over.

Jay Eee Tee Ess Jets Jets Jets (-2) vs. Joey Harrington
Miami is in shambles. The Dancing Bear is benched and complaining. And the Jets aren't quite as bad as advertised. Also like the under (36) here. Speaking of Joey Harrington...

Bills (-2) at Detroit Rock City (Pick of the Week)
This is Vegas' obvious overreaction to Buffalo's meltdown last week. But the Bills had played pretty well up to that point, and that was the Bears. This is most certainly not. Look, we all know Oakland sucks and Tennessee sucks. But how bad do you have to be to lose to Green Bay? You might be the worst team in the league, but you're absolutely more than 2 points worse than Buffalo, even in the House That the Assembly Line Built. Plus, Ditka picked Detroit to win. Load up on Buffalo.

Chiefs (+6.5) at "The Champs"
Buy a half-point to get to +7, but this is the continued Championship Effect. Look, even though Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl last year, they were a six seed when they did it. They weren't the best regular season team last year. Plus, their quarterback crashed a motorcycle and lost a significant bodily organ in separate incidents. And yet the oddsmakers have treated them like the '86 Bears all season. They're 1-3 ATS, with the only win against the Dancing Bear. This line should be closer to a field goal. Look, it's worth the extra half-point to lock in the potential push, but don't fret over betting on Damon Huard.

Carolina/Baltimore under 33.5
Sure, that's a low number, but Baltimore Under has replaces Bear Under as the go-to pick. Baltimore 0-4-1 O/U this year, with all of those games under 34.5. Carolina is only 1-4 O/U, with the only over against lowly (and, at the time, overrated) Tampa. Take the under. Laugh your way to the bank.

I'm not taking them, but I don't mind Dallas/Houston over 43, Bears/Buzzsaw over 40, and Cincy/Tampa under know what? I like that one...

Cincy/Tampa under 44
This isn't the usual Tampa D, but they got berated by Chucky Gruden this week. Look for them to finally put the clamps on someone, and that will be Cincy. Look for Tampa to win a low-scoring game. Or at least let's hope they do, if only for the mental health of legendary Bucs fan and debate judge Jason Fernandez.

The Best Jason Fernandez picture on Google.
Note the backwards Tampa hat. He was already
ashamed of this team. Can you blame him?

Updates throughtout the day, including video of the U and Florida International getting it on last night once it hits YouTube, a fight that makes Illini/Mich State look like pattycake...actually, that Illini/MSU brawl was more of a catfight.

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